The First Goodbye

 

After coming home on his 28th birthday on 5 May, my son Michael left this past Friday for 2 weeks of Annual Training at Ft. Pickett, VA.

 

We did a lot while he was here.

 

Or I should say HE did a lot while he was here.

 

Mom came down with costochronditis (weeding and losing weight and having your CPAP machine set too high for your present weight will do that to you) so he took over the yard mowing, weeding and putting trash/recyclables out weekly.  In addition our washer and dryer is in the basement which we access from outside so he did my laundry.

 

He spent time with his sister and future brother-in-law in St. Louis, about 16 miles away.

 

There are no Steak and Shakes in VA so we made sure to get him to one while he was here.  Mom made or had made his favorite meals and desserts. 

 

We watched the movie Lincoln and we both coached the St. Louis Cardinals from this side of the TV as well as he got to go to at least 1 game.

 

He shepherded us through our first tornado warning of the season while Roger was in the hospital with congestive heart failure.  I tell you, Army 1st Lieutenants are good at organizing and moving people/animals to the basement which he had previously set up with all the comforts of the living room except we had to take cover right when supper was done (he was my chief cook and kitchen cleaner while I was at the hospital with Roger).

 

He ran every other day in true Army style and on the days he didn't run, he was conditioning with push ups and sit ups. 

 

He got all the paperwork done for his upcoming deployment to Saudi Arabia at the end of this month for a year.

 

He will be back here on June 23 and the 5 day countdown will be on for the Second Goodbye from Ft. Benning, GA...one that will leave me shaking, crying and wanting to hide out in a cave until August 2014 when he returns.

 

Still trying to get on with my life with Kathy being gone over 3 months now.  I miss my BFA so much.

 

Thinking about deleting my Facebook account. (Hopefully that is the Depression Monster talking).

 

Continue to BELIEVE. 

 

Stay tuned.

 

Stay tuned.



Look to the Rainbow!

 

I've been to this Bridge a lot over the years.

 

Never easy...in fact, bittersweet.

 

How do you say goodbye?

 

My beautiful-in-every-way 18 year old granddog, Brandy, slipped to the Rainbow Bridge while I and her mother were gone Saturday morning for a couple of hours.  First time I had left her in forever although Kiereney and Michael were here and she did not die alone.

 

Brandy wanted it that way.

 

We knew she was recently diagnosed with bone cancer but the vet gave her 6 months and that is what I subconsciously put on the calendar.

 

I think she made it a month.

 

But she got a lot accomplished.

 

She got to see Uncle Michael and spend time with him before he deploys.

 

She waited until her Daddy Jay got back from Army training.

 

She got undivided care and love from her Grandma.

 

We sang songs, cuddled and she got any food she wanted.

 

We rescued her for my daughter, Kelli when she was 1.  She was in an abusive home.

 

She was the second of the Dachsie Quads....we bought Shania in 96, rescued Brandy in 96, rescued Macon for Michael a couple of years later and then rescued Katie for Kiereney.  All dachsies, all brown and smooth haired except for black and tan Macon.

 

Brandy was the judicial one of the 4.  She always had a somber look but was the most comforting one.  She always took care of everyone else.  Many said had we had her AKC papers she would have been a winner at Westminster.

 

She was a winner in this family.

 

She loved her vanilla wafers and had the best nose.  Even toward the autumn of her life, she could smell food cooking 2 rooms away and would start the low bark of, "Bring it!"  She loved to eat, yet maintained her svelte physique.

 

She was treasured.

 

She is missed.

 

She will always be in Grandma's heart.

 

A pic of her in the last few months with my daughter, Kelli, and her fiance', Jay.

 

 



Yes. Yes, today is my birthday!

A long time ago (April 30, 1954 @5:32 a.m.) in a far away Land (Missouri Baptist Hospital in St. Louis, MO) during a power outage because of a tornado I came into this world at 6 pounds 2 ounces. 

 

I tried to be born at the Cardinals Stadium (old one) when my parents were attending a game and Mom's water broke.  I wasn't due until May 2(silly parents and doctor). 

 

During labor, the hospital was hit with a power outage because of tornadic winds and I was spanked into this world on emergency power.

 

So far, so good.

 

Mom's mom (my grandmother) took the bus to St. Louis that morning to see me, about a 2 hour trip now and God knows how long then.  My dad picked her up at the bus station.  She was so excited to meet her 3rd grandchild...

 

But only got to see me 5 minutes because she and Dad went and viewed all the tornado damage and by the time they got to Maternity, it closed to visitors in 5 minutes.

 

I hear my mom pitched a hissy fit like no other!

 

You would appreciate my mom giving birth all the more in the fact she was 4 feet 11 inches tall and weighed 90 pounds full term with me.  She wore Girls size 14 childrens clothing.  I could pick her up and carry her around the house when I was in 8th grade (1968), a stunt that did not put me in her favor but made my dad laugh.

 

Sadly, she died suddenly on April 9, 1968 from a brain stroke in the brain stem.  I never saw her again because Catholic hospitals didn't allow children up on the patient floor.

 

I know she has seen the remainder of my 46 birthdays from Heaven but they have never been as happy as the ones Mom was in charge of.  She thought my birthday was a national holiday!  Always a birthday supper, always my favorite homemade cake, always carefully wrapped presents and always a recanting of my birth story.

 

I hope I'm half the mom she was.

 

So today begins my last year of the 50's.

 

I'm planning every day.

 

They say 60 is the new 30...we'll see...

 

Meanwhile I'm going to hang on to this 59th year as tight as I can.

 

Always believing.

 

And I leave you with a little levity...

I don't believe I hung in the same social circle with any of my fellow Taureans except Willie Nelson...

Famous Birthdays on this Day in History

Birthdays in History for Tuesday 30th April 2013

◀ Mar     April    May ▶
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30
All Events Birthdays
Weddings Deaths

 

Birthdays 1 - 201 of 201
1245 - King Philip III of France (d. 1285)
1309 - Kazimierz III de Great, King of Poland (1333-70)
1553 - Louise de Lorraine-Vaudémont, queen of France (d. 1601)
1602 - William Lilly, England, astrologer/author/almanac compiler
1651 - Jean-Baptiste de la Salle, French priest/theorist/saint
1662 - Queen Mary II of England (d. 1694)
1664 - François Louis, Prince of Conti, French general (d. 1709)
1710 - Johann Kaspar Basselet von La Rosée, Bavarian general (d. 1795)
1717 - Guillaume Gommaire Kennis, composer
1723 - Mathurin Jacques Brisson, French naturalist (d. 1806)
1743 - Robert Jasper van de Capellen, master of Marsch/politician
1767 - Jean Henri Appelius, lawyer/minister of Finance
1770 - David Thompson, English/Canadian explorer (Columbia River)
1777 - Carl Friedrich Gauss, world's great mathematician
1790 - John Cockerill, English/Belgian industrialist
1792 - Johann Friedrich Schwencke, composer
1797 - Andreas V Michiels, Dutch military governor of West-Sumatra
1803 - Albrecht Graf von Roon, Prime Minister of Prussia (d. 1879)
1805 - William Kerley Strong, Brigadier General (Union volunteers), died in 1867
1812 - Kaspar Hauser, German son of grand duke Karel van Bathe
1823 - George JD Campbell, Scottish/Brit Minister to Indies (1868-74/80-85)
1830 - Davis Tillson, Bvt Major General (Union volunteers), died in 1895
1837 - Alfred Gaul, composer
1846 - Rosalie Amstein, writer
1853 - Alfred v Berger, writer
1857 - Eugen Bleuler, Swiss psychiatrist (d. 1940)
1858 - Mary Scott Lord Dimmick Harrison, 1st lady (1889-1893)
1864 - Frans Netscher, Dutch writer/journalist (Studies of nude model)
1864 - Juhan Liiv, Estonian poet (d. 1913)
1865 - Max Nettlau, German anarchist (d. 1944)
1869 - Hans Poelzig, German architect (d. 1936)
1870 - Franz Lehar, operetta composer (Naughty Marietta)
1874 - Cyriel Verschaeve, Belgian priest/writer
1876 - Orso Mario Corbino, Italian physicist (d. 1937)
1877 - Alice B. Toklas, American companion of Gertrude Stein (d. 1967)
1882 - Trijntje "Nine" van de Schaaf, author (To the Invisible)
1883 - David John de Lloyd, composer
1884 - Albert Israel Elkus, composer
1885 - Luigi Russolo, composer
1886 - Frank Merrik, composer
1888 - John Crowe Ransom, US poet/critic (God Without Thunder)
1889 - Acario Cotapos, composer
1889 - Rudolph Hermann Simonsen, composer
1891 - Watze Cuperus, Frisian author (Swart mar leaflik)
1893 - Joachim von Ribbentrop, Nazi foreign minister (d. 1946)
1895 - Philippe Panneton, French Canadian physician, diplomat and writer (d. 1960)
1896 - Gary Davis, Laurens SC, blues/folk guitarist (A Little More Faith)
1896 - Hans List, Austrian inventor (d. 1996)
1897 - Humberto Mauro, Brazillina director and screenwriter (d. 1983)
1899 - Jannetje Fisherman-Roosendaal, author (regional novels)
1899 - Lucie Mannheim, Berlin, actress (East Meets West, 39 Steps)
1901 - Simon Kuznets, Ukrainian-born economist, Nobel laureate (d. 1985)
1902 - Andre-Francois Marescotti, composer
1902 - Rudolf Wittelsbach, composer
1903 - Gunther AR Raphael, German composer (Symphony Breve)
1908 - Eve Arden, American actress (d. 1990)
1908 - Bjarni Benediktsson, Icelandic foreign and later prime minister (d. 1970)
1909 - Juliana, Queen of Netherlands (1948-80)
1909 - F. E. McWilliam,Irish sculptor (d. 1992)
1910 - Al Lewis, actor (Leo-Car 54, Grandpa-Munsters)
1911 - Hans Studer, composer
1911 - John-Baptist J Walgrave, [Henricus/Humanus], Flemish, theologist
1911 - Luise Rinser, writer
1912 - Eve Arden, Mill Valley California, actress (Connie-Our Miss Brooks)
1912 - Manuel Gutierrez Mellado, soldier/politician
1913 - Bernard Charles Sendall, deputy director general (ITA)
1913 - Edith Fowke, folklorist
1914 - Sid Weiss, bassist
1916 - Claude Shannon, information theorist
1916 - Dugo D Schenker, Suriname/Antillian producer
1916 - Robert Shaw, Red Bluff California, chorale conductor (Robert Shaw Chorale)
1917 - Bea Wain, US singer/radio host (Lucky Strike Hit Parade)
1918 - W Donald McNeill, tennis champ (US Open-1940)
1919 - Valeer [Valerius V] van Kerkhove, Flemish writer/producer
1920 - Duncan Hamilton, driver
1920 - Leen 't Hart, Dutch organist/composer
1922 - Anton Murray, cricketer (South African batsman in 10 Tests 1951-55)
1923 - Alan Wharton, cricketer (Engld batsman once v NZ 1949, scored 7 & 13)
1923 - George Byatt, playwright
1923 - Al Lewis, American actor (d. 2006)
1924 - Sheldon Harnick, Chicago, lyricist (Fiorello, Fiddler on the Roof)
1925 - Corinne Calvet, Paris France, actress (Phantom of Hollywood)
1925 - Johnny Horton, American musician (d. 1960)
1926 - Cloris Leachman, Des Moines Iowa, actress (Last Picture Show, Phyllis)
1926 - Corinne Calvet, France, actress (Apache Uprising)
1926 - Edmund Cooper, UK, sci-fi author (Seed of Light, All Fool's Day)
1927 - Johnny Horton, Los Angeles Ca, rocker
1927 - Lars Hall, Sweden, Pentathelete (Olympic-gold-1952)
1928 - Hugh Hood, Canadian author (d. 2000)
1929 - Peter Carsten, Weissenberg Bavaria, actor (Mr Super Invisible)
1930 - Raoul de Keyser, [Dekeyser], Flemish painter
1931 - William L [Bill] Clay, (Rep-D-MO, 1969- )
1932 - Anton Larrauri, composer
Country Singer Willie Nelson (1933) 1933 - Willie Nelson, Abbott Texas, country singer (On the Road Again)
1934 - Jerry Lordan, English composer and singer (d.1995)
1936 - Zohra Lampert, actress (Doctors' Hospital, Girl With Something Extra)
1938 - Gary Collins, Venice California, actor (6th Sense, Home Show), (d. 2012)
1938 - Larry [Van Cott] Niven, US, sci-fi author (5 Hugo, Neutron Star)
1938 - Juraj Jakubisko, Slovak film director
1939 - Ellen Taafe Zwilich, Miami Florida, (1st woman composer Pulitzer 1982)
1939 - Pieter van Vollenhoven, husband of Dutch Princess Margriet
1940 - Burt Young, NYC, actor (Convoy, Rocky)
1941 - Johnny Farina, rocker (Santo & Johnny)
1941 - Wilfried Jentzsh, composer
1943 - Bobby Vee, Fargo ND, (Devil or Angel, Night has a Thousand Eyes)
1943 - Robert L Livingston, (Rep-R-Louisiana, 1977- )
1943 - Frederick Chiluba, former Zambian president (1991-2001)
1944 - Jill Clayburgh, NYC, actress (Unmarried Woman, Semi-Tough)
1944 - Richard Shoff, rocker (Sandpipers)
1945 - Annie Dillard, American writer (An American Childhood)
1945 - Claude van de Berge, [Rony MF Pauwels], Flemish writer (Graph Theory)
1945 - Michael J Smith, Beaufort NC, Cmdr USN, astr (51L-Challenger disaster)
1945 - Mike Beacon, rocker (Ox)
1945 - Mimi Farina, rocker (Reflections in a Crystal Wind)
1946 - Donald Schollander, Charlotte NC, swimmer (Olympic-4 gold-64)
1946 - Karl XVI Gustav F H, King of Sweden (1973- )
1946 - Bill Plympton, American animator
1947 - Robert Scott, (Rep-D-Virginia)
1947 - Leslie Grantham, English actor
1947 - Mats Odell, Swedish politician
1947 - Tom Køhlert, Brondby IF coach
1948 - Perry King, Alliance OH, actor (Andy Warhol's "Bad")
1948 - Wayne Kramer, guitarist (MC5, Dangerous Madness)
1949 - Phil Garner, baseball manager
1951 - Panuta Rosani, Poland, discus (Olympic 1976) drug disqualified
1952 - Tom Pesek, PC programmer (creator of HAL 9000 program)
1952 - Jacques Audiard, French film director
1953 - Merrill Osmond, Ogden Utah, singer (Osmond Brothers, Donnie & Marie)
1954 - Gunther Tiersch, German DR, 8 man cox (Olympic-gold-1968)
1954 - Jane Campion, New Zealand film director
1955 - Dimitra Papandreau, Greece, wife of Greek PM Andreas Papandreau
1955 - Nicolas Hulot, French journalist
1956 - Jorge Chaminé, Portuguese baritone
1956 - Lars von Trier, Danish film director
1957 - Duane G Carey, St Paul Minn, major USAF/astronaut
1957 - Aviva Chomsky, American historian, daughter of Noam Chomsky
1958 - Charles Berling, French actor, director and screenwriter
1959 - Kamaran Abdalla, Iraq/Engl/Neth actor (Goede Tijden Selechte Tijden)
1959 - Lauren Howe, LPGA golfer
1959 - Paul Gross, Canadian actor, director, and writer
Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper (1959) 1959 - Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada
1959 - W. Thomas Smith, Jr, American author and columnist
1960 - Kerry Healey, American politician
1960 - David Miscavige, American cult leader
1961 - Isiah Thomas, NBA forward (Detroit Piston; 1990 NBA playoff MVP)
1963 - Steve Smith, Glasgow Scotland, NHL defenseman (Chicago Blackhawks)
1964 - Ian Healy, cricket wicket-keeper (Australian since 1988)
1964 - Jeff Reboulet, Dayton OH, infielder (Minnesota Twins)
1964 - Barrington Levy, Jamaican musician
1965 - Adrian Pasdar, Pittsfield Mass, actor (C Oliver Resor-Feds, Top Gun)
1965 - Daniela Costian, Australian discus/shot putter (Olympics-96)
1966 - Aundray Bruce, defensive end (Oakland Raiders)
1966 - David Meggett, NFL running back (NY Giants, NE Patriots)
1966 - Jeff Brown, Ottawa, NHL defenseman (Hartford Whalers)
1967 - Steven Mackintosh, British actor
1968 - Babette Van Veen, Neth, actress (Linda-GTST, Blueberry Hill)
1968 - Paulo Jr, Brazilian pop bassist (Sepultura, Morbid Visions)
1968 - Richard Pilon, Saskatoon, NHL defenseman (NY Islanders)
1968 - Roger Mar, Seattle Wash, rapid fire pistol (Olympics-1996)
1968 - Sandra Beikoff, Mackay QLD, golfer (1990 Sunshine Coast Open)
1969 - Dexter Rogers, St Petersburg Fla, volleyball opposite hitter (Oly-96)
1969 - Joey Restivo, Brooklyn, rocker (Linear-I Never Felt This Way, Lies)
1969 - Warren Defever, American musician, composer
1970 - Brad Layton, Seymour Ind, rower (Olympics-1996)
1970 - Debbie D, Phila Pa, actress (Attack of Vampire Mermaid)
1970 - Ken Stanton, American Radio Personality
1971 - B J Tyler, NBA guard (Toronto Raptors)
1971 - Matt Martin, Hamden, NHL defenseman (Toronto Maple Leafs, Oly-US-94)
1971 - Randy Bierman, WLAF tackle (Scottish Claymores)
1971 - Ryan Hawblitzel, West Palm Beach Fla, pitcher (Colorado Rockies)
1971 - Ty Hallock, fullback (Jacksonville Jaguars)
1971 - John Boyne, Irish novelist
1971 - Darren Emerson, English DJ (Underworld)
1972 - Kendricke Bullard, NFL wide receiver (NE Patriots)
1972 - Mario Schaden, hockey forward (Team Austria 1998)
1973 - Akon, American R&B Singer
1974 - Cedric Jones, defensive end (NY Giants)
1974 - Chris Darkins, NFL running back (Green Bay Packers-Superbowl 31)
1975 - Beverley Peele, model [or Apr 7]
1975 - Johnny Galecki, Bree Belgium, actor (American Dreamer, David-Roseanne)
1975 - Elliott Sadler, American race car driver
1975 - Mike Chat, American actor
1976 - Amanda Palmer, American musician (The Dresden Dolls)
1977 - Jeannie Haddaway, American politician
1977 - Pell James, American actress
1979 - Gerardo Torrado, Mexican footballer
1981 - John O'Shea, Irish footballer
1981 - Emma Pierson, British actress
Actress Kirsten Dunst (1982) 1982 - Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant, New Jersey, American actress (Interview with the Vampire, Spider-Man)
1982 - Lloyd Banks, American rapper
1982 - Cleo Higgins, British singer and actress
1982 - Andrew Seeley, Canadian actor and singer
1983 - Tatjana Hüfner, German luger
1983 - Troy Williamson, American football player
1983 - Yamini, Tamil Singer
1984 - Shawn Daivari, Persian-American professional wrestler and manager
1985 - Ashley Alexandra Dupré, American singer and call girl
1986 - Dianna Agron, Savannah, Georgia, American Actress (Quinn Fabray-Glee)
1987 - Nikki Webster, Australian entertainer
1987 - Rohit Sharma, Indian Cricketer
1988 - Molloko, SD Zoo, 1st California condor chick conceived in captivity

 

I'M LIKE BOSTON...NOBODY CAN KEEP ME DOWN!

 

 

Yeah, this is me.

 

Granted the hair is waaaay shorter now both from cutting and hair loss from cancer treatment.

 

But that's OK....it's small potatoes.

 

 

I'm writing this post for a particular purpose with 2 examples:

 

 

You ignorant SPAMMERS just keep it up!

 

I REFUSE to make my friends have to go through a song and dance routine to comment on my blog.

 

But know this and know it deep...

 

I will spend my last breath on this Earth deleting your nonsensical, useless posts to this blog.

 

Cause this is MY blog and THESE are MY friends and you serve no earthly purpose on this Earth but taking up air space...

 

I am smarter than to tell you NOT to do it...

 

You weren't given the common sense God gave an earthworm to comply and know where you're NOT wanted.

 

So knock yourselves out.

 

I AM Dachsielver

 

and

 

I AM A SURVIVOR!

 

(brushing spammer germs from hands)

 

Now to my second example.

 

For you on on Facebook, you know the last 2 months has been the struggle from Hell reconciling myself to the fact that Kathy no longer is available for phone calls, shopping, visits or hugs.

 

I determined this past weekend was going to be the line I was drawing to either succumb to it or rise past it because it was getting to that point...

 

And then I found this piece of writing on Facebook:

It sounds JUST like Kathy wrote it herself.

 

It made sense.

 

Especially when I remember God has given me almost 8 years of thyroid cancer remission not to shut off my life and mourn my best friend.

 

So I have decided to:

 



 

This is what Kathy would want me to do.

 

When I was first diagnosed, I told her she would outlive me.  I am a year older and with the cancer diagnosis that I have to get checked every November because it lies dormant in the body and I will always have a risk of going out of remission, I figured I'd beat her to the Pearly Gates.

 

So didn't happen.

 

God isn't ready for me yet and He may never be.

 

especially if I bring all my BELIEVE quotes and items with me...

 

So although I know I have only experienced Easter without her and managed to get through that, my birthday is coming up.  She without FAIL was the first person to call me on my birthday.  And I'm steeling myself that this isn't going to happen this year.

 

Nor will we go to the town parade Memorial Day weekend.

 

Or share her birthday.

 

Or Thanksgiving.

 

Or Christmas.

 

Or sending Michael off to deployment and receiving him home in July 2014.

 

Which begs the picture

 

 

This is Michael and Kathy a few minutes before we had to leave him to go home while he headed to Washington State to mobe up and deploy to the Sinai Pennisula from there.

 

There won't be any of these pictures at Ft. Benning, GA on 28 June.

 

Let me leave you with this:

 

 

 



Our Hearts Have Turned to Massachusetts and Texas

 

 

Who knew that such a sunny, beautiful Patriots Day in Boston, home of the Boston Marathon, could turn into such a nightmare?

 

We happened to be watching MSNBC, because that's how we roll, we're news freaks, when the first reports came in.  My first thoughts were, "Not again!"

 

Like, Columbine, like Oklahoma City, like 9-11, we were roboted to our TV.

 

My husband also has his eldest grandson who is attending Suffolk University in Boston to play baseball.  He has ALWAYS been at the finish line of the Boston Marathon as long as he was able to go. 

 

We didn't know if/how he was involved but we prayed for him as fervently as we did the others there.  We were notified by email from his aunt that Christopher was called to a mandatory baseball practice the afternoon of the Marathon and was not able to be at the finish line. 

 

Everything was closed in Boston for Patriots Day but apparently baseball practice.

 

Thank God.

 

He was training near there and saw the throng of people rushing toward him and saw the mass of ambulances heading to the finish line.  He lives 5 minutes from there.

 

We are grateful for his well being.

 

A cherished friend of our family was there with her family and kids cheering on her sister who was running in the Marathon.  What a horrible time they had reuniting, but the entire family was safe, but never the same after that experience.

 

And then came this:

 

 

 

And then we discovered the tragedy that had befallen this small town in Texas.

 

I hope they knew that our hearts supported their tragedy as much as the one in Boston and we will always have a piece of our hearts dedicated to both of them.

 

Because I believe that both of these tragedies will be overcome by the strong citizens of these towns and the overwhelming support of our nation.

 

Please support these cities however you can by your good thoughts, your prayers and supporting their needs.

 

And thank you for the support you have given me since the tragic loss of my best friend, Kathy.

 

Every hour and every day is a winding road of emotions all over the place.  I have experienced the first Easter without her and about to not experience the first Memorial Day weekend without her.

 

I.just.cannot.

 

I have to garner my emotions and stay strong for 28 June when Michael deploys to Saudi Arabia for a year as an aide de camp to a Brigadier General who is stationed at the Embassy in Saudi Arabia. 

 

I simply have to believe he will be safe and come back to us.

 

Just like I have to believe that Kelli will regain insurance to pay for her MS meds that hopefully will get these MS flairs under control.

 

Just like I have to believe that there is a life out there outside of the world of pseudotumor cerebri for Kiereney and she will find her place in this world.

 

Just like I have to believe that the best days are in front of me where Roger and I will be getting 24 hours out of each and every day and living life to the fullest extent because no minute is a given.

 

Just like I have to believe that the phenomenal friends I have met in FB and on Blogger will become more real when I get to meet them this year.  God is making my travel plans and I'm just waiting for Him to announce the when, where, who, why and how, and I BELIEVE that will happen.

 

Don't stop believing...you haven't let me stop and I won't let you stop.

 

Happy Belated 4th Birthday to my Colin on 19 April.  You complete me, sweet Chihuahua.



I Have Been A Very Neglectful Blogger Friend

and for that I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my broken heart.

 

My BFF of 41 years, Kathy, died on February 20, 3 hours after we told each other we loved each other on our nightly phone call while she was on her way home from work.

 

 

She was 57, a year younger than me.

 

She was a sister to me in every way that counts.  Neither of us had a blood sister so we adopted each other.

 

She was the godmother of my 3 children.

 

She was raising her 6 and 7 year old nephews, Cade and Carter, who I have talked about on my blog.

 

Kathy's parents and brother had a history of heart disease. Her dad fell over the wheel while driving a semi in Arizona when he was 56.  Her mother had heart disease.  Her brother has had many surgeries.

 

She worked for a medical clinic for YEARS.

 

I had been after her for TWO YEARS to have herself checked out just to make sure sh didn't have the same heart condition.

 

She told me that they would want to put her in the hospital and she couldn't be away from Cade and Carter.

 

After 2 years, I was afraid of losing her as my sistah-friend so I gave up talking to her about it.

 

She was a devout Christian and truly believed when it was her time, it was her time.

 

She had been sick with a virus for almost a week and I finally threatened her to take her break time and see her doctor at the facility she worked.

 

She did and they gave her a breathing treatment in the office, sent her home on meds and Albuterol inhaler and told her not to come back to work until Monday(this was o a Wednesday). 

 

She called me on her way home from work to tell me.  We talked about Carter's upcoming birthday in March, a lot of other stuff and when I told her I was going to let her go so she could get into her boys(her husband, Cade and Carter) I felt led to say, You know, I love you.  She said I love you, too.  Usually we ended our calls with a Love Ya but that night I said I loved her.

 

Those were the last words I ever heard.

 

She died 3 hours later at home.  She took an Albuterol treatment, started coughing, couldn't breath, vomited, lost control of her body systems, threw her hands up in the air, arched back against the love seat and was gone.

 

An ambulance was called which took them 20 minutes and she was pronounced in the ER.

 

The miracle of it was that both boys were asleep, one in the bedroom behind the living room with his door open and one on the couch across from her and neither woke up when the ambulance came and removed her from the living room.

 

I was asleep when her husband called about 10 and told me Kathy was sick and I needed to come there (2 hours south) now.  Ambien allows you to talk but you never remember doing so.  I said to him, "Now?  I was sleeping."  He said, "Well I'll call the ambulance and another friend." and hung up.  He called again and my kids fielded the phone and he told them they were on the way to the hospital.  He called about 1 a.m. and said she was gone.  My kids woke me up and handed me the phone.  I said, "Hello?" and he said, "Kathy is gone."  I said, "Where'd she go?"  "She DIED".

 

Michael and I left within 30 minutes to head down there getting in about 3 a.m.  We got the boys up for school 4 hours later, got them ready and they never asked why we were there or where Memaw was until Bobby took them to school and he said she was in the hospital.

 

That day was spent making phone calls to the funeral home, her life insurance companies, her job, etc.  It started snowing and the boys got out at 1 p.m.  We had asked the preacher to come over to the house about 4 as we were going to tell the boys that Memaw had died and wanted him there while we did so for we knew the boys would be hysterical.  The preacher came at 4, we told them and little Cade, the 6 year old just fell down in sobs.  He was Memaw's buddy.  We got across to them that Memaw was now an angel watching over them and when they started being ornery again I would say, "What would Memaw say if she saw you throwing a ball in the house?"  They giggled and said,  "She would be MAAAADDDDD!"  So I told them Memaw was watching and to quit throwing the ball in the house.  They were comfortable that Memaw was watching over them.

 

The funeral was Monday.  To make it easier on the boys, we had family visitation at 4, public visitation from 5-7 and the funeral at 7 so they would only have to go to the funeral home once.  She was cremated after the funeral.  They were OK at the funeral home.  They didn't want to go right up to the casket but remained about a foot away and then went back to being kids by playing with their cars.  They had been to 2 other funerals of Kathy's husband' s family so this wasn't a new experience for them.

 

So far, life is good for the boys.  Their mother and grandmother have moved in with Kathy's husband to help raise the boys.  All is well so far.

 

Michael will be deploying to Saud Arabia in May for a year.  He will be the aide de camp to the Brigadier General stationed at the Embassy in Saudi Arabia.

 

Kiereney will be having her 4th shunt surgery of the year on Good Friday.  She had a blockage of the abdominal portion of the shunt in January and that had to be changed.  She contracted a SuperBug and a month later they emergently took out the abdominal part of the shunt and externalized the head portion of the shunt to be able to monitor it for cultures of the SuperBug and was in ICU for almost 2 weeks.  They finally had to take out the head portion of the shunt and then another week in the hospital and 2 weeks of a PICC line at home with IV antibiotics(she had just gotten home when Kathy died 2 days later).  The SuperBug is gone but her spinal fluid pressure is high again so she cannot do away with the head shunt and thus here we go again.

 

Kelli's MS injections ceased when she lost her job due to them relocating and she is falling a lot more so trying to get the injections paid for by the drug company.  They have agreed to it but are slow getting the drugs to her.  Sigh. 

 

Roger and I got sick after the funeral with a URI virus and he is still having trouble breathing and is on oxygen 24/7.  His heart disease is battling his lung disease and we know he's on borrowed time and one of them will win soon.

 

I have missed you all.  Several are on Facebook and have kept up with my recent life saga there.

 

I wasn't ready until today to write about the loss of Kathy.

 

I still pick up the phone to call her every night and a couple of times on weekends.

 

We went down almost 2 weeks ago to celebrate Carter's birthday and it was the first time I had to walk in Kathy's house since the funeral.  It was like a space odyssee.  I faked it until the party was over but on the 2 hour drive home I realized that I can never go into that house again.  I have Kathy in my heart and in the memories and those will sustain me together with my FB and Blog friends.

 

I'm trying to keep on Believin' but I need you all to help if you could.

 

One last thing...never, never EVER leave anyone, be it on the phone or in person, without telling them I LOVE YOU.  You never know if you will get another chance.

 



I have no words anymore...

Kiereney goes back to SLU for surgery this Friday.

 

THIS TIME they are going to have to suction out a subdural hematoma under her head shunt, take out the head shunt, put in a new head shunt, put in an intercranial pressure catheter, make an incision in her chest to pull the head shunt down to connect to the month old new abdominal shunt and then put her in ICU.  She will remain in ICU until the catheter has been out of her head for 12 hours.  Because of her condition, she has to sign over power of attorney to me to make medical decisions.

 

Sigh.

 

And how did THIS come to be?

 

In true Kiereney Jo style, she climbed up on the kitchen counter at her sister's to retrieve the pizza box on top of the upper cabinets.  On top of the pizza box were the breadsticks.  She said the breadstick fell off into the floor, she was afraid the dogs would fight over them and she went to jump down from a height of 9 feet (4 feet off the floor plus her 5 ft. height), caught her foot on something above the floor and landed head first with the head shunt facing the floor (it sticks out like a ping pong ball) and landed directly on the shunt, denting in the shunt.

 

Called the neuro on call and he said since her sister is a nurse, they can watch her at home although he said he was SUPPOSED to tell her that she had to come into ER to be checked.  Those words would later bite him in the tush.

 

Saturday was OK with just a headache.

 

Sunday she started leaking cerebrospinal fluid out of her nose/ear and then her shunt exploded and she started bleeding out of her scalp.  Kelli's fiance' took her to ER cause Kelli was down with an impacted sinus infection and with her MS, she can't be in an ER breeding with germs.

 

Six hours later after the MRI, they determined that she had a subdural hematoma from the fall under the shunt.  The pressure of that made the shunt explode.  They called in HER neuro, which is not heard of on weekends.  He listened to the recorded call where the Dr. on call told her to stay home (he may be looking for a new job by now) and scheduled her for surgery on Friday.  They ran in IV antibiotics and put 2 stitches in her scalp to close the wound and sent her back to her sister's.

 

Sigh.

 

So I will be keeping the road hot from IL to St. Louis, MO on Wednesday to a doctor's apt, on Thursday to admit for preop tests and Friday for her surgery which is scheduled around 2 p.m.

 

Roger's pulmonary function studies are worse so we go back on the 12th to see what, if anything, can be done for his lungs.  We knew it would be a race to see if his heart or lungs gave out first.

 

Sigh.

 

Kelli is shopping for a new neuro.  She is constantly having MS flares and now she is working full time again.  She had a neuro apt. today and he was basically useless.  Until she gets married and gets on military insurance, she can't afford her MS injections.  He would not give her any pain pills because he said they only bring temporary relief.  Duh...

 

Michael has a 2nd interview this Thursday with the Brigadeer General to be deployed as an aide de camp for the General at the embassy in Saudi Arabia.  We pray he gets it.  He will deploy in May for 400 days.  First job he will have since he got back from the Sinai on the last deployment 2 years ago.

 

Me?  Who has time to check?  Have been crocheting cotton dish cloths to keep myself halfway sane. 

 

And yes, I'm still believing...

 

Will update at the end of the week.